My mind is racing. I think about opportunity cost.
Maybe if I think more about it, I will have a transcendental moment of realization. Then, I will have clarity. It just all has to click into place.
When it clicks into place, I won’t overthink things.
I definitely won’t overthink things.
But then I wonder why I wait. I sit restless in bed and begin to confront my thoughts. They don’t seem so scary after an hour or two. In fact, sometimes they begin to seem trivial, maybe even absurd. I question my attachment to these thoughts.
Why do I hold onto things that make me suffer? Why is it so hard to let go? Seems like change is a constant, and we either accept it or not. I don’t want to be confused. I want to understand why I feel things.
I don’t like sitting in the passenger seat of my life. I like participating. I don’t want to run from the bad feelings just like I don’t want to idealize the good feelings. Aren’t they the same thing anyways? Binary thinking can be so limiting. I’d rather just let these feelings be. Why make sense of things I will never fully understand? For a moment, I feel light.
Here, there and everywhere, time is ticking. We are a decimal point in the universe. All things are impermanent. On a large enough scale, all issues become trivial. Then I remember I have a meeting in the morning, and I really need to go to sleep.
